When ever I am told someone is expecting a baby, especially their first baby, I have to hold back from spewing "knowledge" upon them. Not knowledge of how to raise a child (my child raising is often trial and error based), but to tell the new to be daddy or mommy that yes they already love this little "bean" now, but they have NO IDEA how much MORE they will love this child with each passing day, with every milestone before and after their baby is born. They will have no idea how much their lives will change in pleasant chaotic sleepless nights, and yes one or both of them may go through baby blues, but yet, even then, they will also have blissful moments of love toward each other and toward this baby!! They have NO CLUE what courage is until they hold their baby in their arms for the first time, they have no idea that for this little bundle of joy, they will protect their child like they would no other!
But instead of throwing all of this upon them, why can't I just let people experience it with out expecting it?? That's how I experienced motherhood, I was blissfully ignorant of all this LOVE! It is because I relive the first moments of falling love with my children when ever I hear the news of someone expecting!! I was amazed how much love went to these little beings. When I was pregnant with my second child, I often wondered how in the world am I going to love her as much as my first born..HOW?? I was so surprised as she grew with in me that I already loved her, and I honestly can not imagine how the 3 of us got along with out her! Yes, admittedly,on the way home from the hospital, the hubs stopped at the pharmacy, as I waited, I looked at pictures of just the three of us, without baby #2,..and felt guilty of changing the dynamics with a second child..but I turned around and looked at Peasley baby #2 and immediately forgot that feeling of guilt. Having children for me, taught me that I love loyally and unconditionally for my parents, passionately, unconditionally for the hubs, and then there is this whole other type of love that my children brought out of me; a fierce/gentle, indescribable kind of love. Having a child, no matter how the child comes to us (adoption, niece or nephew,ect) changes us..or it changed me, having my nephew and niece, years earlier, certainly brought out a protectiveness in me, and then my own babies accentuated all the good I had in my heart, I just did not know it was there, yet. So writing this, I have decided, that it is not up to me to unwrap this surprise for first time parents...as hard as it is for me to keep surprises..it is much more fun to see them find this out for themselves..
I remember my first thought, holding Nate was, "why didn't anyone tell me I would feel this way", my second thought was, "I wouldn't believe them anyway"....So if you are expecting a little bundle of joy..sorry for the spoiler..but you still have no idea..
