9 months later, still best of friends, but really in denial, I was hung up on my high school love who came in and out of my life in the last nine months and he was too good looking for me to get pass the infatuation I was confusing with love..let's not forget I was only 18!! So while I was mending my heart, Sean and our friends hung out almost every night and those days were the best times of my life, except I did not realize that then..I was too busy boo hooing over a relationship that was doomed since day one. But another moment did not fail to take me off guard, once again. He would have "Friends" Thursday at his place with our friend, April, and we would stay there so late with not a care in the world. One Thursday, while driving to his apartment, I suddenly began feeling giddy to see him and thinking how I missed him, and when I arrived at his apartment a mean goose was in attack mode, Sean came out of his apartment armed with a hockey stick and bravely shooed the goose away and pulled me into his apartment, once safely inside he gave me his famous one eyebrow arch look and I SWEAR he could see my heart beat right through my chest! He was being silly but I honestly looked at him as my hero (seriously..that goose was huge!). I remembered our friend April was on her way and got my act together before she got there. As time went on, he was the only brave one between us and one evening, sitting on the back of his white truck, he confessed how he felt, but me..I cowered out, and several times after that..I don't know if I loved our unique friendship too much or if I loved having someone care about me as much as he did and did not want that to stop, so I never acted on these fleeting heart stopping, breath taking moments.
I look back on it today and I am amazed what I put our relationship through in the next years to come. After a few times of Sean opening up to me and me not responding to him, he gave up, we still remained friends, but there was a definite change in our relationship. He certainly stopped putting me first and distant himself from me and I was too stubborn to admit to him how I felt. I began dating another guy, desperately wanting Sean to tell me how he felt again. I, Leesa Peasley, was playing games, and he was not participating! I was a stupid stupid girl! I would write notes to Sean hinting how I feel, and the only response I would get from Sean was just our usual friendly hang outs, we would go to hockey games together or hang out at Damons..and we were never alone, always with our friends...ALWAYS!
The other guy and I still dated but I was with Sean the most, and the last moment before I admitted to myself that he is the ONE, was when we went to a hockey game, afterwards we all strolled around downtown with his friends, we came across some violets and I picked one, gave it to him but instead he tucked it in my hair. Then I knew that I wanted to be with him and his crazy friends who I adored and wanted to be a part of his life forever, but the stupid girl I was, did not act on it!! I married the other guy!! (trust me, I am still kicking myself!) And this amazing man, my best friend, came to my wedding after calling me the night before telling me I am marrying the wrong man and accused me of going thru the wedding because I cared too much about what other people think, he was in the last row of the church. When I hugged him that day, I knew I made a dreadful mistake!! Dreadful! But Sean and I still remained friends, somehow.
A divorce and five years later, I did not hesitate to call Sean and joyfully tell him that I am leaving the other dude..I imagined Sean speeding over and profess undying love....but instead, he told me he just got home from work and he was tired and wanted to call me later (it was 11pm after all), but I did not care I was no longer playing games and I was going to fix us!
The last moment that caught my breath was when we went on a date and he simply turned around and looked at me as he opened the door for me, I remember his eyes seeming to be extra green suddenly, and I officially stopped lying to myself!
9 years and 2 awesome Peasley kids later, living paycheck to paycheck and barely time to high five each other in passing.. I am living the dream! I am so happy and glad to admit that I was wrong when I thought 15 years ago, that all his attention towards me would go away..I am treated like a princess everyday. But I love him for his sense of humor, his cute facial expressions and his natural ability to become a parent over night! When we had Nate, 7 years ago, in a sleepy voice, Sean asked me if I ever thought we'd be"here". And I will always stand by my comment.."no but I fantasized about it!" My dream come true!!
9 years and 2 awesome Peasley kids later, living paycheck to paycheck and barely time to high five each other in passing.. I am living the dream! I am so happy and glad to admit that I was wrong when I thought 15 years ago, that all his attention towards me would go away..I am treated like a princess everyday. But I love him for his sense of humor, his cute facial expressions and his natural ability to become a parent over night! When we had Nate, 7 years ago, in a sleepy voice, Sean asked me if I ever thought we'd be"here". And I will always stand by my comment.."no but I fantasized about it!" My dream come true!!
